28-07-2011 [Sunny]

This is really long disappearance. The last time I posted an entry was in February 2011 (*_*) It's not that I have forgotten about this place but I have no time to come, especially in May & June 2011 because Beary & I took over the operation of AUK then.

I've so many things to share since we took a break after AUK but I forgotten the "way" here. I lost my way and I only managed to make it here today -_-" Nearly posted on my FB that "I wanted to blog but I couldn't find my blog!" (-_-""") Goodness! Anyway, as I was logging in and waiting for the page to load, I realised that I have an iPhone which has internet access... ... why didn't I blog while i was on the go?! (-_-") Perhaps I should make more use on my iPhone!

Anyway, back to the subject where I have so many things which I wanted to blog about... ...
1. Temporary Operations of AUK
2. Attended a 2-week Certificate of HRM @ NYP & HRI
3. The course mates
4. Beary
5. His Colleagues
6. My future
7. etc etc etc etc...

I should learn to blog more often!

撒了。。。

散了。。。
I just posted this msg on FB. I just browse thru the FB status updates and pictures -- saw many pictures posted by Adam and Justin. There were also status updates on their whereabouts and happenings. We were totally left out from these outings.

不知从几何时, we stopped hanging out frequently with Karen & Adam. They also stopped asking us out. Beary has also highlighted to me on é photos they posted on FB on a few occasions. Even BBQ @ Adam's pl during CNY left us out. Now that I gathered what Beary has been highlighting to me and what I read... I am upset. It appears to me that our Carebear. Group has kinda dispersed. *sigh*

We have no exact details on why we just stopped hanging out together. Was it because Beary is out of job? Or that they prefer the others co? We're boring? Or that we've done stuff which offended them w/o realising it?

Over the past few occasions when Beary brought it up, I dismissed e negative idea but now it seems like I have to really face it. The last 2 outings I've tried organizing failed. I dunno if it's bcos of bad timing or was it the company? Or was it just me?! *Sigh*

I was proud to be part of carebear grp but it seems like é group is dying off. *sigh*

21 Feb 2011

I've fallen ill again. Felt feverish. Body aching. It's exactly the same uncomfortable feeling I had during the CNY period when I fell sick. Not much of appetite too. *sian* Went to the Doc after work and got an MC for tml. Abit pai sei to take MC cos lately I have been falling sick very frequently.

Just took medication and will be going to bed soon.

Beary went to the school with Mavis & I on Sat. There was a brief on the banding and subjects thingy for Pri 4 students. It was a useful session because we learnt that there's actually something similar to "streaming" even though MOE mentioned that there is no more streaming for P4 students. I need to put in more effort on Mavis so that she will be able to study well and make it to Secondary School.

It appears to me that the relationship between Mavis & Beary has improved alot. Mavis seems to be able to accept Beary. However, must still put in effort to spend time with her. Afterall, she is at this growing stage where she needs our attention.

I have reduce the times sleeping over at Beary's place. It's alot lesser but he has been staying over at my place more frequently. I appreciate his effort and company.

18-02-2011

It's actually 0642h on 19 Feb 2011 (Sat). Yup, I haven't wink a single bit since Friday because it's WEEKEND!!! I reached home around 0130h after having a drink @ Chong Pang McDonald with Beary, JH & Dave. Beary & I went Synovate for a brief on Asia Bus survey and continued with our earlier project till 2130h and we pick JH & Dave from Toa Payoh before proceeding to Jalan Kayu for prata. It has been sometime since we last had prata there. After supper, I proposed to have a drink before going home and we chatted about our childhood days -- nice conversation about the cartoons characters and happenings and food stuff when we were young kids. There's actually an "age gap" before Dave & us because there were some stuff which he has no idea about :) We also recall about paying 15c for Feeder service. and the 50c Ding Dang with toy in the chocolate biscuits... those were the days :) -- and this conversation started because Dave and I mentioned about Doraemon.

McDonald is selling Doraemon toys along with their Happy Meals. I asked Dave why did he like Doraemon because I remember that he like Pooh Bear -- Apparently, he like Doraemon, Pooh bear and even Crayola Shin! *hehe* Then I continued to ask Beary if he know why I like Doraemon :) He mentioned that he like Doraemon because he thinks that it is a helpful cartoon character. *hehe* I like Doraemon because it's short and round... and I think I am short and round too ^_^ Fits my description.

Had lunch with YL ytd @ Gombak because she was here for a mtg. She highlighted that I seems to have lost weight *HAPPY* Must be alittle modest... so I surpressed my excitment and replied calmly "alittle only lah" :D *HAPPY HAPPY* I told CC that she, YL & XL are my only true friends because no other friends of mine mentioned about me slimming down at all. and in fact CC said that I had gone down quite abit because my tummy were really smaller as compared previously :)

Hah.. so much to blog but I need to catch a wink soon because I gotta wake up early later to attend a briefing session @ Mavis' school rgd P4 syllabus and banding system **Troublesome**

17-02-11 (Tiring Day)

Had a long day. Today was our 1st day with Synovate. We started on a new project today on mobile phones. Apparently Nokia is doing some market research. Anyway, it wasn't a good start. It wasn't as easy as I thought. I made many phone calls and met many who rejected me. A handful slammed my phone call before I finish explaining. I only managed to complete 2 surveys. One aged 34 while the other is 28 years old. Kind souls. Hopefully, I'll have better luck too.

So tired... 

16-02-2011 (Sunny)

Back to work today and realized that I've still got loads of work to clear - lots of claims to process, upcoming overseas trips to prep and mustering of documents -.-" endless work but why I am still MIA-ing from office?! 真要不得！ must forbid myself from taking absenting from work frequently this year. It's the start of the year and I've took 3 days of leave+2 days OIL, not taking in account the medical leaves I took.

Sometimes, it's a blessing that we don't have an NSF because I realized (on many occasions) that MAs learn to appreciate me w/o KJ. Working relationship with LTC Desmond improved too after I took back my full share of work and I can feel that he appreciates me more and gives better attitude as compared to last time :) I can even feel the change in his SMS. I wonder if it's the arrival of his new baby gal which mark the changes or was it me ^_^

Just as I just formed a bonding with him, he will be leaving in June 11. A new MA will come and we gotta start everything afresh again.

We had an office lunch @ Supsip today. CDF & COS-JS appreciate CC's effort and that is a good thing because in the past, DK would only see his PA's efforts... He'll thank his PA instead.

It's 元宵 tml but we're starting our first day @ Synovate tml. Hence, we had our 元宵 dinner together today. TC actually jio us to watch "我知女人心＂tml but because we had already planned our schedule, hence, the movie outing was cancelled. If this Synovate survey stuff reallt works, we gotta make extra effort to earn more because such deals doesn't come easy. Hope Beary & I will be able to do well and pass the training.

The last time I heard from Alan was in Oct 10. Thereafter, it seems like he has disappeared. I've no idea what happened but I could sense that it has something to with me. I don't remember offending him. What happened? I tried messaging him last night and he only replied once. He ignored my question asking him whe he has kinda disappear.

I sent him another msg earlier just now indicating that I could sense something was wrong though I have no idea why it was so and that I'm hoping to hear from him when he is ready to talk about.

I remember asking PF about Alan and his disappearing act but she just shrugged her shoulders and said she've no ideas. I feel that she is aware of something but she didn't want to share. PF just told me that he has a gd already so not free. Very unlike behavior of Alan. Hmm... I'm really curious What actually went wrong. I may be too sensitive but if the truth is linked with PF, I will be very annoyed.

Misunderstands!!! It's difficult to sleep over it!

Mood Swings

I hate this kinda feeling.

I regretted taking leave today. I didn't have to wake up early today. I had porridge at Tak Po today. I watched Mr & Mrs Incredibles. However, I still feel that my leave wasn't fully utilised. Mood swings?

Not exactly happy with my mom. I have expected that -- it's 15th of the month and she is asking me for money already!!! I was comptemplating whether to give her the monthly "contribution" earlier or on the 10th! At the same time, I was worried that I might overspent and didn't have enough to give her. Maybe I should have only given it to her on 10th!

I have just decided that it is of no use to give her increase the "contribution" when I get my salary increment because no matter how much money I gave her, it is never enough AND SHE is still borrowing from others and asking more from me and eventually needing more money. It has been worst after I gotten her into this apparels business -- which I have regretted getting her in.

Perhaps one of this day, just perhaps... I will fall into a quarrel with her on money issue. Each time we gave her the monthly "contribution", she will use the money to buy more clothes! The money we gave her is not meant for that! It's meant for household use! AND I HAVE TOLD HER more than ONCE but she is not listening and in the end, she will ask me to help her 'clean her shit'... such as asking me to call whoever to lie about her whereabouts... or to ask me call whoever to borrow money bluffing that it is for my own! I AM VERY PISSED with these!

In the evening today, she called me but I missed her call cos we were in the cinema. She called Beary and he managed to answer her call in time. She asked Beary to call Princess' After-School Care to ask Princess to go down because she's there. Why didn't she call herself? Why did she go up to fetch her instead?

I could get the answer immediately! Because she has not pay for the fees!!! Why did the money I give her went to?? THrew into her business yah????? The more I think of it.. the more angry I got. Why do I always run into financial issues???????

Beary has been complaining to me about how bad he fare for his interviews yesterday and how disappointed he was for not receiving any telephone calls on job interviews yesterday and today. He kept ramping and ramping... ...

I don't know how to reply him. I have consoled him umpteen times and I think it will not work. (Little did I know that my silence because a kind of unhappiness to him! -- MEN... they are hard to please. Lend them your listening ears but they complained that we have no reaction.)

11-02-11

It's the end of Friday! I've been away from work for a week. There must be a hugh pile of stuff awaiting my follow-up. I've been unwell for a week -- kanna allergy reaction on Sunday night and Beary sent me to the hospital. It was worst than previously because I had difficulty breathing and the Doctor had to put me on drip because I was nausea. And they had to give me a few dosage of Ventolin. Was at the Observation Ward from 11+ on Sunday night till almost 3am. Poor Beary had to wait in the cold for me. Was given MC for Mon & Tues.

However, I began to cough badly on Tues night and decided to take my CNY OIL on Wed. Who would have expected me to have fever on Wed itself. Took medication for the whole day but it din work and had to go to the doctor again in the evening. My fever went up to 39 degrees! And was given another 2 more days. The discomfort was equally bad like my allergy reaction. Cough badly until chest pain. No appetite. Fever doesn't go down despite taking medicine timely. Had sweet tooth but just could not taste anything sweet!!! Everything was either salty, tasteless or bitter! :(

Not feeling any better, they brought me to the Chai Chee Shifu. One look, he started his ritual stuff and do prayer for me. Feelingworst and more discomfort! But believe it or not, I really feel much better after that :) but on and off, I still feel alittle unwell. I also believed that I saw some stuff... Which probably caused the sickness. Aunty Shui Lian who was present when I saw that had fallen sick on the same day as me too!!! Co-incident? I do not know. Now my whole body aching and pain :(. Hope that I can recover soon ^.^

09-02-11

It has been a long while sinceI last blog... ... Looking at the past entries, my last blog was in Oct 10 regarding my relationship with my little gal. Good thing that our relationship has improved. However, her relationship with Beary hasn't been really close as compared to previous. I dunno what is the cause of it and she is not willing to open up to me. *sigh* I'm still a failed mother.

Many things took place these few months... ...
From CNY to the unhappiness between JH & Karen. I was kinda upset on the eve of CNY because I still remember what happened a year ago. That may be one of the reason as to why I just wanna nua @ home during CNY period. No mood for other stuff and particular sian when johntalked to me and i hardly send any CNY greetings.

I feel especially emo today. Hmm... Perhaps it's the time of the month to feel emo. With iPhone, I should beblogging more yeah?! *hehe* no more excuses for myself!

Multiply

Tried logging in multiple times before I managed to log in successfully. Realized that I had long forgotten my password =p thought my password should be the default one... *hehe* I probably changed w/o realizing it.

Anyway, who logs in to Multiply these days!? I logged in because I wanted to check if my blogspot is still cross-post with Multiply. Seems like it wasn't.

It has been a long while since I blog. The last one was in Oct 10.

I am a failure

This is the last thing people would want to say about themselves. *Sighz* But that's me. I have not been a good mother. I don't know how to be a good mother.

This has resulted my gal to distance away from me and became closer to an outsider.

Now that I am trying to pull back the distance but there's this outsider in between my gal and me :(

More than a decade

Hmm...

It is amazing or was it fate? I can't seems to find the right word to use.

An acquaintance whom you havent seen for more than a decade suddenly became the boyfriend of your junior and you heard your mom talking about this person but never know that it turns out to be someone you actually know and when you happened to see him in person, you realised that you actually know him and he was out with girl for the whole day... ...

When both of you met but neither of you wanna acknowledge each other... ...

Thereafter, you heard your mom talking about this acquaintance's situation and then you sympathise him alittle... ... *sighz*

The sympathy just kinda take away the bad impression you had of this acquaintance... ...

27 Jul 2010

It has been a long long time since I last post any blog. Nobody is interested in Multiply anymore. However, I still regard Multiply as my Little Hide-out. It's a place where I can share with access rights. Unlike Multiply, posting anything on FB is as good as telling everybody.

Have been pondering about many things lately. Thought about marriage, about the existing relationship I am in, about my future, my daughter, my career, almost everything about me. I am uncertain of everything. I have no idea if I should move on or stay status quo. *Sighz*

Today is a not so good day. I am very unhappy about MA and it exploded within me this morning. Beary called me this afternoon to tell me how unhappy and disappointed he was. Hmm... and then the whole situation changed and he became the most unhappiest person on earth. It seems to me that he is so into himself that he had forgotten that I haven't had a good day too and I am very unhappy about certain things which happened to me too.

He probably feels that his issue was a bigger and more serious than mine. Well... everyone would think their problem needs more attention as compared to others... ...

30 Apr 2010

It has been a long time since I last blog.

I'm leaving for China (Xiamen and Beijing) in a few more days -- 5 days to be exact. Not exactly excited. Probably because it's china we are going. What's more -- with his dad and granny. >.<

It's Adam & Karen's big day this Sunday! Seems like everyone around us have gotten married. Back to the same old subject again. However, this time round, it's a little different. As much as I wanna get married, I am asking myself if he's the one.

I think I am a cockster! I wanna get married. I am happy with him. Yet I don't know if he's the one for me!!!

He has changed over these years. Not exactly that wonderful boyfriend I know. Not that he is lousy but many things happened and as years passed, we grow and perspective changes, character mould differently while we survived thru in this society.

If he's not the one, then why am i wasting my time on him? Shouldn't I leave him?

I didn't forget how much he hurt me by changing his decision to NOT marry me.

I didn't forget the sweet nothings he wrote to Yit Ying behind my back + the way he tried to woo Yit Ying.

These are pain which I tried to forgive and want to forget but it's difficult. Does he ever know that these are within me?

I am thinking differently again. Should he not proposed or do anything about our relationship when I turn 30, I will probably leave things as it is BECAUSE I should not enter into a wrong relationship again and having to hurt myself, my child and my mom. *Sighz* Heart affairs are difficult to understand and explain. I don't know what I want. I need advice. but I don't want to think about it yet because there hasnt been any changes to anything yet... ...

On the other hand, I am so eager to get married. Seeing bride and groom makes me filled with jealousy --- but what to do... ...

Conversation with SM

Yesterday afternoon, SM, as usual, came over to our office to chat with me. As we were chatting, he asked me to patronise Chevrons more often and I could bring my hubby and daughter along. I told him that "yea, I intend to bring my mom there." We continued talking and he encouraged me to exercise and I told him that I have plans to jog twice a week after work and he asked if my hubby picks me up after work.

It was then I finally told him "Sir, I am a divorcee. That guy is my partner." As I was saying that, my tears filled up my eyes and were forcing to come out freely. *Gosh* I tried so hard to swallow them but it just forced its way out. I had no choice but to wipe my tears away.

Meanwhile, he told me that he was upset to hear that and even more upset to see me tear and tried to tell me that what I did was brave to walk out and that fellow was stupid -- w/o knowing the background of my divorce.

I told him that my mom gave me lotsa support and he added that "we all support you too!" *Thank you*

I guess he didn't know what to say and he tried to console me by telling me how he met his wife and how uncompatible they were but the Man up there has made the arrangements for us and he has been with his wife for 30 over years.

He also asked me if Johnson is working and where he is working. and even asked if we had plans to settle down.

While all these conversations were ongoing, MA was in his cubicle. I wondered if he heard and know that I cried. Good thing that I settled down my emotions just before KJ came back from his lunch.

So embarassing to cry in front of SM. but what ponders me was Why did I breakdown? Was it because I am ashame of my status? Or was it because the conversation concerns Beary?

Prior to that, I was lunching with Mui Har and we talked about my marriage with beary. I am not comfortable in revealing too much with mui har so we just talked about it briefly. While talking over it, at a few points, I was upset but I tried to control my emotions. I did. -- Probably because of that, I couldn't control anymore when SM touched on my triggered points again.

Or did I cry over my failed marriage? but why? I have NO feelings for him at all.

Eve of CNY 2010

Eve of CNY was supposed to be a happy occasion. However, I have been very upset since 4pm today.

Around that time, we were all @ the living room preparing stuff for CNY. sis took out the clothings, which belongs to ah boy, in the washing machine because the machine had stopped going and she also wanted to wash our clothes.

Ah boy's gf saw that the clothes were removed from the machine and went to tell him about it, so he came out and asked who removed his bag of clothes from the machine. After that, he put them into the machine again. His gf then came out from the room and went to add softlan into the machine and sis commented softly about why she is washing the clothes twice and it waste water and electricity. I added that electricity is very expensive and they are using it w/o consideration because they are not contributing to the household. Upon hearing what we said, she went into the room and complained to my brother, so he came out of the room angrily and asked what did we tell his gf. We explained to him and even mom told him that electricity bills are going up these days. He raised his voice and told us off questioning why we are so concern with money. OF COURSE we are concerned with money! We are the ones who are working hard and contributing to the family. He is not contributing to anything, therefore, he is, OF COURSE NOT AT ALL CONCERNED with the increase in utility bill! He commented that I am so concerned about money and that's why I am FOREVER POOR! I told him whether or not I am poor is none of his business. He kept raising his voice and behaved in a gangsterism manner. How can I stand his attitude?! Mummy & sis asked me not to quarrel with him, I tried but he kept challenging me and asked me what I want now. While we were quarrelling, I told him, not happy, he is most welcome to leave the house. This was when the fight broke out. He held on to me, while i scratched hard on his chest, to throw me onto the floor. He used the chair and basin to throw at me (but failed because mummy & sis were shielding me). FUCKER! Exchange of vulgarities went on and more fights. I was so angry and aggitated that I told my mom that its either he go or i leave! and my bro kept challenging me to call for the police to chase him out -- he even said that he will only go if the police chase him out.

mummy, on the other hand, kept asking me to go into the room. At this instance, I realised that my mom and mavis was crying. Bastard! He kept challenging me and even when my mom brought me into the room, he chased over and kept challenging me. I asked him and that gal, in front of her, to get out!!!

In the midst of this fight, he kept questioning if I have ever treated him as my brother, he asked my mom if she has treated him as her son! He has got no brains.

He also kept saying that HE WILL ENSURE THAT I WILL NOT HAVE A PEACEFUL CNY ANNUALLY!!! -- This sounds like that old man's tone.

He also said that arent we from the same parents and why did I not treat him like my brother! == This sounds like that old man's tone too.

He also questioned why he is my brother and my daughter is not close to him! -- this sounds like the old man's tone as well.

From this entire quarrel, I have one belief -- That old man has done something and as a result, this is his behaviour!

While we were at the door of my room, his gf tried to pull him away while my sis and mom tried to shield me from him, he went to the extend of pushing my mom! FUCKER!

He pulled my hair hard and refused to let go. He tried to use his leg to kick me. I bited him hard on his arm too. Of course I am no angel. Whatever I did, I admit! BASTARD!

At the point when he pulled my hair and refused to let go, I squeezed his balls and refused to let go! FUCKER!

While all these were going on, at one point, my mom KNEEL DOWN and asked me not to move out.

I kept pulling my mom up and put her on the bed. That fucker went on to curse and swear at me. so did I!

My mom also told me that her 3rd finger was hurt and it was very painful. It swelled immediately.

When we were in the room, my mom also told me to bring her the phone and she wants to call for the police to ask him to leave.

The police took more than an hour to arrive.

When the police (a guy & a lady) were here. I was asked to go out and tell them what happened. I saw legs standing at the door (of that bastard's room)! I supposed they must be standing my the room to hear what's going on and if i had really called for the police since the door bell rang.

I briefly told the police what happened and she asked what do I want to do. Do I want to pursue the matter by sueing him and bringing up the matter to subordinate court? OR do I want to arrange for family counselling? and I am supposed to attend the counselling with him as well.

I realised that while I was in the room with my mom, he went out and used the chair and smashed the TV! Now my LCD is smashed! FUCKER!!!

He even had the cheek to open the door and asked me to leave the house during the quarrel!!!!!!!

I also remember him saying that I will lose my face and challenged me to go ahead to call the police. He's sooooo wrong. I will not feel shame to ask the police for help!

I was thinking if I shud ask for Police Protection Order. I had some bruises here and there on my arm. My right hand third finger was also hurt because the nails were bended outwards when he first slammed me onto the floor. It bleed but didn't break -- therefore it is very painful, wven when I bend my fingers.

after half an hr or so when beary called, then he knows about what happened. He was very angry and even swear at him. He even said that he wants to help me to throw him out.

I also told my mom that the police will not ask him to move out. In the end, he didn't move out too. He packed those stuff which we bought for him and threw them at the common corridor. -- this include the new jacket which we bought for him for christmas and the label was still intact.

Ever since he got together with this gal, his attitude has been very bad. He has not had once dine at home since he started going out with this ah lian gf. They isolated themselves from us. Apparently this ah lian gf is pretty rich. She bought alot of stuff and i also learnt from her blog (an hour or so ago) that she has another bf and he is in jail -- will be out on 20th!

Reunion dinner was spoilt. None of us have appetite.

LCD screen cracked. I can't invite my friends over to my house anymore. I BOUGHT THAT LCD TV with my own MONEY!!!! I was so tempted to go into his room and break his LCD TV as well. BASTARD!

My mom said he will move out soon and told my sis that if he were to pack his stuff, dun ask him where he will be staying or etc.. and dun need to ask him for the keys. we'll just change a lock so that he can't come back again. She also mentioned that she don't have a son.

I am not trying to get rid of him. As long as he do his part for the family, respect my mom and dun behave inconsiderately, i've got nothing against him. why did he have to behave like that? Why did he have to protect that ah lian to the extend that we can't even comment?

I also asked about the empty canned drinks. A big pack beside the dinning area is as if that area is a rubbish dump. Why he cant clear his stuff neat and bring out the unwanted stuff??? Sis and mom has already told him days ago about the empty cans but he did nothing to it! I commented that if he dun want, then i will throw them away. he then replied that all these are money. You try throwing my cans, i will throw ... out (i didn't hear him clearly but i guess he was saying my stuff). On that's the trigger point of the while fight!

I feel very upset and angry with myself for upsetting my mom and even causing her finger to hurt. Now her finger is swollen and bruised. I feel so useless. I even had to cause her to kneel at me. This is so unfilial. I even spoilt my family's cny.

beary asked if i wanna go out after my dinner. no mood. really no mood. sighz. I dun even want to talk to him in details of what had happened. I hope the quarrel will end here and no more trouble. I dun want to upset my mom again.

In the month of January... ...

Gosh... ... We just stepped into February a few days ago and I don't have any recollection of happenings in January... ... *got to think hard* --- Why is my memory bank failing me?

Oh oh... we went to the Singapore Philatelic Museum on 01 Jan 2010. We went Red Star for dim sum breakfast before heading there. It was our first time visiting the museum and it was fun.

Oh... ... I also had a few outings with Ken, Sihui and Kareen! The best outing was that we all went drinking, had supper and slept over @ Beary's place. Followed by having breakfast and dinner together on the next day. *hahaha*

Had bazaar @ Safra Toa Payoh on 9th & 10th of January. Earnings was so-so only. On last Sunday of Jan, I was also @ the bazaar in Bishan. Earnings was good! but the Organiser said that we should have more -- which means it was not good enuff. Gotta work hard!

January have been a busy month for me and this is going to continue til Apr 2010. I have been doing OT almost everyday. There are just so many tasks to complete. The newspapers have announced that my boss' tour is ending, hence, we are busy with farewell visits -- lotsa visits and this is going to continue till end of Mar (-.-) Besides that, I gotta handle the CNY reception with a total of 800+ guests. I gotta handle my day-to-day registry operation. AND even SM is having overseas trips as well and I gotta advice and assist him. -- I told KJ that the workload is up to my neck already!! I like to be busy but I am worried that I may screw things up when I am not careful enuff. Good thing that air show just ended successfully for me. I hope CNY Reception will be a success as well -- one more week for me to settle all the outstanding preparations before the reception day.

Oh... Beary's family & I went for our annual photo shoot in Jan too. It was fun. Will upload the pictures soon :)

Had a few dinners with XL in the west as I have been working late almost everyday, and we left almost the same time. She has been introducing me makan places in the west :p

Hmm... what else?? We hadn't been going out with YL lately because we were all busy and though she has asked me to join her for shopping, I didn't have the time.

Oh oh... and XL & I went over to CH's place w/o telling her because we wanted to give her a b'day surprise. We bought beer and food and a small cake over to her place and feast! *hehe* However, she wasn't surprised or she didn't looked surprised. *kekeke* Probably her emotions or expressions doesn't reveal much but she probably was :) --- I didn't take any pictures because I have been tooo tired and lazy :p

mmm.... Jan has been pretty quiet huh... I supposed that's all which took place.

25 Jan 2010

Hmm... this is an SIC post. I did a "test" to ensure that my post didn't appear on the Inbox for everyone's viewing before I starting drafting this post.

Friday and Saturday was Party day for us - Kareen, Sihui, Ken, Johnson & I. It has been a long time since we really club. It was fun. Kareen & Sihui came over to Johnson's place to sleep after Lunar and we even went for breakfast @ Chinatown the next day. :)

Talking about Sihui -- I feel very sad for her. I don't know the exact reason for her to broke down but I think the sad feelings were supressing w/in her for a long period. She must be feeling terrible. That kinda feeling is very lousy and difficult to endure. Sighz... She's such a pretty gal but her boyfriend is not appreciating her. Seeing her checking her hp and ended with empty hopes -- that's sad. I really can understand how she feels because I have been thru those feelings before.

What is wrong with those guys out there hurting us gals? How do we deserve all these pain and tears? Of course there is a choice for us to not be hurt.. that is to not get ourselves involved in the game BUT we are human beings. Human beings are filled with feelings. Falling in love is part and parcel of life. Which explains Qi Qing Liu Yu!

I hope that Sihui will feel the trigger point and see things clearer. She will probably feel better and recover slowly after trigger point. Sighz... Of course that is not easy.

Just like in my instance -- I am sad over my relationship with beary too. I havent meet the trigger point which would influence me to make a decision between us. and of course, i hope I never have to decide about leaving him or loving him.

Anyway, back to the main purpose of my entry. It is SIC because I wanna blog about my health. I am really worried that something is not right with my body, which results in the bleeding and fluid flowing out from my body. I don't know if it has got any thing to do with my menses or womb because I have already had my menses ealy this month. What is it that is causing all the bleeding. I am really worried. I guess I really have to see a doctor to seek some assurance..

These few days I kept asking myself the same question -- if something were to happen to my health, will I tell Beary? I dunno if I should. and I dunno if I were still continue to be with him. but I hope he will continue to help me look after my family if I were unable to be arnd to do so... ...

What's Up in Dec '09

Began December with a busy mood. I was involved in volunteering work for Standard Chartered Marathon in 2 different areas. I held the role of Race Entry Pack Counter Crew Leader from 3rd to 5th Dec 09 @ Singapore Expo Hall 5 and the role of Broadcasting and Commercial on 6th Dec 09 @ the event of the Marathon, which is near Esplanade-behind S'pore Cricket Club.

I was in charged of a group consisting 40 (+/-) students. They were divided into 2 shifts -- One in the morning which started from 7.30 am to 3.30 pm while the other shift started from 1.30 pm to 9.30 pm. Andersons ice cream were given out to all volunteers at the end of their shift *Yum Yum* Each of us were paid an allowance too :)

As Volunteer Leaders, we would receive a daily allowance of $30 (my daily salary is a few times more than that! -- why did I make that comparison? Read on...)

My 1st shift crews are all undergraduates. There were about 5 guys and there had completed their NS. As all of them are from the same school, they don't really form grouping among themselves and have team work.

My 2nd shift crews are students from ITE. In the group of about 20, there are 3 chinese. This group formed groupings among themselves and lack of team work. Difficult to manage. (-_-") Even the management made that comment to us, group leaders, and told us to highlight to them if we have difficulty managing our crews.

Anyway, I was able to maintain a good working relationship with majority of them :) There was this SCSM dance and whenever they played the SCSM music, everyone is supposed to stop whatever they are doing and dance. *haha* It was fun.

There were media coverage over this event and I was on TV for 30s when they screened the volunteers doing the dance. *hahahaha*

It was a tiring 3 days! I have to report to Expo @ 7am and my duty will ends around 7pm. I don't really get to sit, unless anyone of the crew is away from the counter and I will take over from there. I didn't really get to eat because I have to let my crew to have their lunch before I could do so and by the time they finished their lunch, my 2nd shift crew has arrived and I have to take care of them. (-_-")

Now you'll understand why I made a comparison on the allowance :p *haha* However, overall, it's fun and experiencing and most importantly, a short break away from work, though it's tiring and alittle frustrating at times!

On 5th, after my duty, I went home and took a bath. Supposed to go for dinner with Beary but I was simply too tired. Hence, I rested at home while waiting for Beary to buy dinner home :)

After dinner and playing with FB, Beary sent me to Ritz Carlton for a briefing on my role for the actual day event. This is definitely different from the other role and for this, I worked directly under Stella, an SSC staff whom I got acquainted during AYG. She is like Cindy Yeo - appreciates me :)

Wow... Ritz Carlton was great!!! Even the Christmas tree looks extraordinary beautiful. I snapped it while waiting for Stella @ the main entrance :p

Stella brought me to her room for the brief. The deluxe room was cosy. The scenery was beautiful and the bathroom was super big too :) *hahaha* Very comfortable.

I have to spend some time looking out for this NB mascots to
ensure that the media did cover them

My role for this event is different from what I did during AYG '08. I had to liaise with the broadcasting and TV Host and make sure that they captured certain sponsors and brandings, as well as to ensure that we are in time for live and telecast interviews with certain VIPs. *Very Interesting* I followed the team around the event area that entire morning :)

I told myself I had to rest hard after those few days of hard work! *haha*

We're supposed to go Genting for a short break in mid of Dec but the hotels were fully reserved and left us with no choice but changed our plan and have our holiday in a little island called Singapore! ;p

Day 1:
I brought my mom and mavis to The Line @ Shangri-la for their sumptious buffet lunch. *Great*

After lunch, Beary came to pick us up at the hotel and we went shopping @ Vivo City -- That's where Mavis bought all her Christmas presents for everybody.

In the evening, we went to fetch my sis & yogi and went Lavender Food Court for dinner. *Home Sweet Home*

Day 2:
We had brunch @ Tiong Bahru Market. Their zhu zha Soup is delicious -- never disappoint me!

After makan, we went to the Singapore Science Centre and Body Worlds *Yikes* and watched a show in the Omni max Threatre -- to note we went Body Worlds because Mummy & Mavis wanted to. To me, that place is scary. We spent almost the whole day there!

Beary sent us back to Yishun and he head off to meet his colleagues for a christmas gathering. Mummy, Mavis & I had our dinner @ Yishun Food Court and shopped around North Point and its new extension :)

*Home Sweet Home*

Day 3:
We had breakfast @ Choa Chu kang, while waiting for our dental appointment. -- It has been many years since I last visited a dentist!

KTV session from 2-7pm @ K-box Marina Square!

After so many hours of singing, we went Food Republic @ Suntec for dinner, followed by doing some shopping @ Suntec.

*Home Sweet Home*

On eve of Christmas, Beary and I, after work, went to buy the remaining (which was still quite a lot) gifts for our family . *Phew* What a rush! and we also had to do some marketing for our Christmas dinner. It was supposed to be a "Chinese Christmas" and we're supposed to have Hot Pot. However, due to insufficient time, we switched to western cuisine - Steak.

We chop chop buy everything and spent hours in the kitchen to prepare the dinner. In fact, we have been cooking for the family quite frequently, over the weekends, these few months.

After dinner, we bathed and started wrapping the pressies and then GIFT EXCHANGE!!!

On Christmas, the DHW organised a Children Party and, again, I had to go and buy gifts on the day itself. -- I've got no time for christmas shopping this year! Hmm... what have I been doing before christmas??

After the kids' party, we joined Adam & gang for prawning -- my 1st prawning experience.

After prawning, we went over to Karen's pl for makan. The guys steamed the prawns and cooked instant noodles for us. Nice "breakfast".

The Care Bears had a gathering @ Oliver's pl the next day. It was a potluck session. We played games and makan. After some time, everybody got tired and we decided to call it a day. When we were exiting the carpark and decided to head home, XL suggested to go drinking. Then we went to the coffee shop near my pl and had 2 bottles of Carslberg.

While drinking, we decided to go for prata @ Jalan Kayu! so we sent Mavis home, put her to bed, then we head off for prata.

While we were having prata, we decided to do some marketing @ Chong Pang, send my mom to the bazaar @ Bukit Batok and send XL home. *hahaha* By the time we reached home and ready to go to bed, it was like 8am in the morning :) What a fulfilling day!

After Christmas, it was count down for 2010. We went ECP for countdown. There were free music (disco type) and we chatted, played games, enjoy wine & sparkling juices + titibs while waiting for 2010 to arrive.

After countdown, we went to the airport for supper and to enjoy the free aircon!!! *hahaha* *HOME SWEET HOME*

We also had a christmas lunch (Japanese-style Steamboat) with LC -- Free flow of wagyu beef!!!

27 Dec 09

Beary went home today. He had sleep over at my place since Wednesday night. Whenever he is going home without me, I feel so lonely and will tend to miss him. I can't bear to let him go. *I am so possessive!*

Christmas was fun. Our off days were filled up with programs :)

Thank you Beary! I hope we will celebrate all our christmas(s) together.