Hullo Carebears!
It has been a long time since we had an outing.
Shall we hold a picnic @ the Marina Barrage next Sat (28 Feb 09) afternoon?
Johnson & I been there once and that place is cool. We can fly kite, play games and makan. If majority of us are okay with it, we should start planning now.
Please revert your interest by 24 Feb 09 (Tues). Thank you! (^_^)
I suddenly have the urge to get into his Facebook this morning and I discovered that he started to send messages to the lady since 17 Sep 08! That was the day we went to register for our ROM date! It led me to think if she is one of the factor for not wanting to ROM with me. He told me that she was not one of the causes – I hope it is true.
Sighz... ... I still don't feel secure. I am still worried that he still likes her. I can't really stop him from contacting her if he really want to do it (cos I wouldn't know if he had want to hide it from me). All I can do now is to salvage this relationship and pray to god for help. I am also praying hard that he won't email or msg the lady Valentine's Day greeting. I hope he will really keep his promise to me and cut off contact with her.
I should not bring up this lady anymore. At times, I dunno if I am stupid or clever. I wondered how things are going to be like if I hadn't confront him. I really hope that we can start afresh and bring the relationship back on track.
Today I told myself that I will try not to expose him anymore if I saw any mails or messages between them. If he has promised me to cut off contact but secretly still want to continue “making” friends with her, it would mean the end for both of us. Even now, if he wants to set up a new email acc solely for communicating with her, he could do it w/o my knowledge. If this really happened, it would be very sad. Sighz...
I am still pondering over the qtn - Am I easily replaced?
I proposed to him that we could go for counselling on how to tackle the current problems and he agreed. I was happy with his reaction. Even if it was just to bluff me, I am still happy.
Suddenly I became very negative. I kept having the fear that he will leave me and I just keep sighing. If he really decides to leave me... ... I cannot imagine how to survive w/o him as he has been in my life for the past 5 years.
If I had known but not confronted him, how would the situation be like? Given my personality, I cannot control such emotions and once I find out, I got to talk it out. This whole thing somehow led me to think song – xiang shui you du. All these also triggered my memory to recall a story about a man and his wife who was a civil servant... It was a good ending for her and I hope it would be a good one for me too.
No mood to work. Keep looking forward to knock off and meeting him. It's like we've just started our relationship and I am yearning to meet him every minute! I hope this is a good thing.
I think he was right. He said that I have been behaving in a paranoid manner since day 1. I feel very tense up and cold. I fear. I fear of losing him. Though he promised that he will not contact her again but I am worried that he will not keep his promise.
Whenever my phone rings or there's a msg coming in, I hope that it is from him. I feel upset and disappointed when I know that he wasn't the one on the other line. I went into Facebook last night and saw her pictures. She wasn't the very pretty kinda lady but is good enuff to capture his attention. Adventurous and sporty and not too skinny – just right. I am just too fat and boring for him, I supposed.
All that is occupying my mind is how to convince his family to accept mavis and I, what we should do to get married, etc... I also kept thinking about us. Too many memories, too many stuff in these 5 years and I still love him very much, I cant let go :(
Every now and then I feel my heart shiver. I feel cold. This is terrible. Each time I prayed, I asked god to let us be together and bai tou dao lao.
Just now while I was working, I thought of this: because he sees no future in us, he decided to open his options to others. I asked myself “I am easily replaced?” Very sad.
I dared not say too much or asked too much because one email from me can made him change his mind to not marry me and I feared that another email of sentence from me would allow him to decide to leave me for good *sob sob*
It has been 5 years, nearing to 6 since we had been together on 5 Mar 03.
We had really been through alot during this 6-years and we were still together. However, I am very worried that everything is going to change soon... ...
I have least expected him to have a change of heart. He had always assured me about how faithful he is but I just found out that he is wooing a colleague of his - Chan Yit Ying. Nice name. From his description, she is a very adventurous and sporty lady -- his type of coffee. I also found out that he had left "things" (which I assumed were gifts) on her desk more than once. He also expressed his feelings to her.
I was terribly upset when I read those emails yesterday. I burst out crying immediately. I just cannot control my emotions and kept crying while I was at work. I kept asking myself if 6 years are going to end just like that.
When I confronted him, he was alittle stunt. He didn't want to admit about it initially. However, when I mentioned her name, he said he has not done anything wrong to me and treat her like a colleague. I know he was lying.
I didn't go to class and when to meet up with him after work. I have got no mood to work. I almost wanna take 1/2 day and go look for him.
My feet were soft, heart were sinking and I hope that all were just a joke. I hope that it was just a dream.
Since we were back together on 1st day of CNY, I told myself that he is the one I am going to settle down with and I wanna be with him til death do us part.
He told me he can't see any future ahead of us! That sentence hurt me very much. I have said many hurtful words to him too and I think this is my retribution. BUT can I beg God please dun take him away from me. I can't survive without him. He has occupied the other half of my life. W/O him, my life is empty and I would be half dead.
It was really a big blow to me and I couldn't eat or sleep for the whole of last night. I fear of losing him. I kept thinking how to make everything work out well. to a certain extend, i am desperate over him.
On my way to meet him, I kept crying (yes on the bus). It was embarrassing but I dun give a damn. What is more impt than losing my loved ones? I also kept thinking what should we say when we meet. I feared that it would be our last meeting.
I took him to the seat round the fountain @ suntec where we sat and began our relationship 5 years 11 mths and 4 days ago. I thought if he wants to end the relationship (though I would be very much reluctant to, it would be at that pl too.) After break-up, I will always go there because suntec itself is a place filled with our memories.
When we sat there, he told me that he doesn't like the lady. It wasn't even a crush. He was just trying to make friends with her and open himself to more options cos he doesn't see a future in us.
He also told me that he is old enuff to set up a family and since that he doesn't see a future in us and all the hurtful words i said to him since sept 08 (wre all our probs arised), we should part.
In this relationship, i had cried once @ ITE Bishan when we quarrelled (for the 1st time) and he came to look for me. Then I cried again terribly when he was going overseas for studies. Then I cried again terribly when he told his friends he had long wanted to break off with me. Next, it was about our marriage in sep and oct where i had cried damn terribly. yesterday was the 5th time i cried and feeling damn terribly than ever. I hope there will be no more tears in this relationship and if there were ever tears, i hope it would be tears of laughter shared between us from now where we have decided to start all over again.
I have really tried to change my attitube towards his family and I am even willing to move in to stay with him, together with mavis. I also told him that I will go with him together to speak to his family about our marriage and mavis when the time comes. God, please let both of us work things out.
He also promised me not to contact that lady anymore and I really hope that he will keep his promise.
