Virus is spreading

My Doctor told me that my sored eyes will not spread by "seeing". The virus will only be spreaded if you touch the affected areas and not wash your hands after that and of course, sharing of towels kinda stuff.

I dunno if mine was sored eyes but it was quite bad and it has been 2 weeks, I am still in the midst of recovery -- though it is getting better day after day. Or was it eye infection? Is eye infection and sored eyes under the same category?

It was kinda scary to me when my vision was kinda affected -- blurred. You won't understand how I feel unless you have the same experience as I do :) At one point, I was thinking if this is some new deadly virus and I am going to become blind or perhaps die at a very slow rate. Hmm... ... *My imaginations can run really wild!*

Anyway, this virus has somehow spreaded to Johnson on Tues and his sored eyes or infected eyes is somehow quite jialat. He had MC but due to many important meetings to attend, he had to continue working and strained his eyes even more. He had seen the doctor again yesterday and hopefully he will recover soon.

I supposed the same virus has also spread to my colleague who had also seen the doctor twice and was very worried about her eyes. She has been given MC from last Thurs till next Tues. Poor me -- I would have gotten longer MCs too but I couldn't go away due to the deadline of my event.

KJ had to go on 5 days medical leave too due to his wisdom tooth surgery!

The virus had somehow also spread to my little princess yesterday! She woke up with her eyes alittle red and then became very red later in the day. *Oh dear* Doctor gave her 2 days MC as well but I couldn't go away on Monday because there is no one around in office!!! Timing for all these is just so bad.

I dunno why they all kanna the virus. I was already in the midst of recovery and my eyes were like not really red anymore but they are catching the virus.

It was been like 2 weeks or so when he had last seen my little princess. I guess she probably kanna the sored eyes due to the dust. So much dust due to all the shifting and moving, packing and unpacking... ...

As for Johnson and my colleague -- no idea how they kanna the virus. Was it mine? If so, why did the doctor say that it would not spread thru "Seeing"???

My Relationship

I am having mood swings again. I am starting to have thoughts on breaking up with him again. At times I asked if I am happy with him. I asked if things would turn out better or worst after marriage. I asked if it is a good thing that we didn't get married.

I am beginning to see all my friends (with partners) getting married. Even the last one, among the few friends, had been taken off the shelf. I'm the only one left and I am the only one being mocked about.

Ha. When people used to tell me about how selfish their boyfriends / hubbies were, I used to criticise them and thank god that Johnson is not selfish.

When I used to listen to people saying that their boyfriends refused to settle down, etc, I will wondered why these people are like that and thank god that Johnson is not so.

So many things happened around me and I always thank god that Johnson is not like them BUT I am so wrong. Either I am wrong in judgement or that I am experiencing my retribution -- I am experiencing all that I have heard about from friends around me!!!

Few days ago when I was deleting messages from my hp, I saw those SMSes he sent me. He claimed that I should just sit back and wait for him to propose and that he will do it when the time comes. He told me not to rush and he will plan for it BUT WHAT's noW??? Everything got back to zero though he proposed.

Fortune teller said that once I got married and divorced, I won't have a 2nd marriage. That's probably truth. Initially, I was still very confident to proof the fortune teller wrong!

Whenever I had these mood change, I would think that I should not continue to be with him and that I should just quietly let go. Sighz...

I ever said that if he didn't propose to me by last year, I would break off with him but he did. Just that we didn't get married.

Everyone feels that he is very good to me. How do they define "good"? Am I not good for him? If that's the case then shouldn't we just end off instead of wasting each other's time?

I need companion. He's the only one who can give me most of his time. If I were to break off with him, I would have to be all alone again. How sad. Is it more saddening to stay on just for companionship and feel unhappy within myself at the same time?

Unhappiness

I think everyone in my family is happy except me!

My sis has a room, though Yogi is in there too. Mavis has a room of her own. My brother has his own room. The tenant will get to stay in a room by herself @ a cheap rate of $300. What about me? I had to share a room with my mom!

No privacy! Johnson got to continuing sleeping on the mattress laid on the floor when he comes over. I got to share my cupboard, wardrobes, etc with my mom! I am so fed-up!!!

What's more... I have to pay for the renovation, the furniture (including for that tenant!) and to HDB for all the nitty gritty fees. I will be paying a bigger portion of the monthly instalment as compared to my sister BUT I DUN GET A BIGGER PORTION OF EVERTHING AT HOME!!!

I am really really pissed off with my mom for wanting to sub-let a room out to an outsider!!! Why do I have to buy a 5-room flat then??? *Sighz*

My brother took away the TV that was supposed to be placed in my room. The fan that is supposed to be in the living room was taken away by my brother. Mavis had no fan in her room so she needed a fan and she took sis' fan to use. Sis took my fan and again everyone had a fan except ME!!! I HAD TO SLEEP W/O A FAN ON MY FIRST NITE IN THE HOUSE!!!

WHY? This is very unfair, isn't it? My brother who is not contributing much to the household gets everything in his room. Even the computer in his room was actually meant for me from my uncle!

I cannot share these unhappiness with anyone else. Not even Johnson! So what if I let him know I am unhappy. There won't be any solution and he might even make bad remarks about my family or even if he dun speak up, he thinks bad remarks!

People will comment (prob behind my back) that I am stupid to let them stay in my flat if they got to know these. BUT CAN I DUN LET THEM STAY?? Where should they stay?

If Johnson had gotten married with me, I will probably not have to share room with someone else.

If one day I were to be too unhappy about all these, I will quarrel with my family members and it is going to be very bad.

I wondered if my mom ever thought if I am happy and what do I want?

Memories

I was clearing my stuff on Wednesday night and happened to clear a box, that was kept in the store room--out of my reach, where I kept the stuff I used during my secondary school days... ...

I found quite a bit of stuff which I had long forgotten. My mom saw them and said that I have long graduated from secondary school and it's time to throw away those stuff (e.g. O'level 10-year Series, Projects, Text books, etc)

There was this particular group project about “Friends” and it was named "The 6 Musketeers". I can't recall much. As I browsed thru the pages (all photos and captions), I was trying to find out why this proj was done, what it was all about, which subject was it meant for, etc etc. All I could tell was it is a CME Proj (what the hell is CME? Civils Moral?) done in Sec 3 -- *hehe* However, one thing for sure – I was the one doing the compiling and design etc cos it was so "my" style! Though it was a group project of 4 pax (-_-”)

Though I can't recall much, the photos kinda remind me of my fav song -- Memories and I began to hum quietly to myself... ...

Midnight - not a sound from the pavement.
Has the moon lost her memory,
She is smiling alone.
In the lamplight, the withered leaves collect at my feet,
And the wind begins to moan.

Memory - all alone in the moonlight.
I can smile at the old days,
I was beautiful then.
I remember the time I knew what happiness was.
Let the memory live again.

Every street light seems to beat a fatalistic warning.
Someone mutters and the streetlamp gutters,
and soon it will be morning.

Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise.
I must think of a new life,
And I mustn't give in.
When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too,
And a new day will begin.

Burnt out ends of smokey days,
the stale cold smell of morning.
The streetlamp dies, another night is over,
another day is dawning.

Touch me, it's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun.
If you touch me, you'll understand what happiness is.
Look, a new day has begun.

Another thought also hit me while I was browsing at the photographs -- Friendship.

There were 6 musketeers. It was a proj among 4 of us in the class, cannot recall why we added the other 2 into the picture as well. Worst - one of them is more of an acquaintance rather than friends but we were the so-called good friends in the project!!! (-_-")

Among the 6 of us, one of them hated me (and I wonder if he still hates me?). The other 2 were added into my acquaintance list many years ago while the initial acquaintance remained as an acquaintance. The last one had also been added into my list of acquaintance! That total up to 5 musketeers. WOW... I should have a rather long list of acquaintance by now.

I just realised -- everything (and I really mean every damn thing) needs to be taken care of (or maintain) and of cos fate plays a part too, if you believe it :)

I also began to believe that there is no such things as "Forever Friends" like what we used to write in those autograph books when we were very young. I supposed a more realistic word would probably be "be friends for as long as fate decides" or "as we could".

The last thing that I hope were to go away would be memories... ...

YES MAN!!!

Before I embarke on today's topic, I wanna give an update about myself (Yes, I am self-centred!). My eyes should be in the recovery stage -- though still blurred vision and uncomfortable at times. I hope I would recover by Sunday, else I would have to visit the Doctor again.

Busy with CNY stuff at work -- invitations have been increased from 700+ to 1000++ guests (-_-") Hope that KJ & I could complete this project successfully.

I'm the kinda who will think about many things while doing other stuff. Therefore... ...

While I was ironing my daughter's uniform yesterday, I was thinking about the movie "YES MAN". I had multiply thoughts at the same time. Am I a YES MAN? Why should I be one?? How could I be a better YES MAN but not to "harm" myself??? How would I being a YES MAN benefit from it????? Who is a YES MAN? Is so and so a YES MAN?? Is "A" a YES MAN? Is "B" a YES MAN?? "hmm.. maybe!" (and my thoughts just continued while I was ironing) and then I asked myself "Is Cas a YES MAN?" My mind told me that she is a YES MAN (most of the time) but another voice told me she might turn into a NO MAN when more "not-so-good" situations take place in her life or maybe she has already partially become a NO MAN (??).

What I am trying to say... ...
Cas is usually fine with almost everything (of course she has her own stand and will speak up when need arises) but then on and off people took advantage of her YES MAN attitube and then she became fed-up and she will want to turn nasty and maintain a NO MAN attitube. -- then I thought.. that would be sad huh. *I frowned to myself and continued ironing* I told myself I must ask her one of these days... ...

I received XS's SMS this morning to inform that her sis is unable to rep Kenny. The next person that came into my mind was Cas (We had actually asked her to join us for the movie but she didn't want to because she did not watch Part 1.) Therefore, I decided to try my luck and smsed her, thinking that she will reject me and she promptly replied "OK!"

I was surprised and I sent another sms to seek confirmation! *haha* Isn't she a YES MAN? I guess she wasn't really interested in the movie. It was probably more of a goodwill kinda act but I really appreciate it and in my mind, again, I said "see... she's a YES MAN!!!" *haha*

最初的本心

這篇文章分享給每一個在 為夢想努力奮鬥的你，提醒我們在努力追求夢想的同時，
千萬不要忘了最初的本心。

心若改變，你的態度跟著改變；
態度改變，你的習慣跟著改變；
習慣改變，你的性格跟著改變；
性格改變，你的人生跟著改變。

有個老魔鬼看到人間的生活過得太幸福了，他 說：「我們要去擾亂一下，要不然魔鬼就不存在了。」

他先派了一個小魔鬼去擾亂一個農夫。因為他看到那農夫每天辛勤地工作，可是所得卻少得可憐，但他還是那麼快樂，非常知足。

小魔鬼就開始想，要怎樣才能把農夫變壞呢？他就把農夫的田地變得很硬，讓農夫知難而退。

那農夫敲半天，做得好辛苦，但他只是休息一下，還是繼續敲，沒有一點抱怨。小魔鬼看到計策失敗，只好摸摸鼻子回去了。

老魔鬼又派了第二個去。第二個小魔鬼想，既然讓他更加辛苦也沒有用，那就拿走他所擁有的東西偷走，他想，農夫做得那麼辛苦，又累又餓，卻連麵包跟水都不見了，這下子他一定會暴跳如雷。

農夫又渴又餓地到樹下休息，想不到麵包跟水都不見了!「不曉得是哪個可憐的人比我更需要那塊麵包跟水? 如果這些東西就能讓他得溫飽的話，那就好了。」又失敗了, 小魔鬼又棄甲而逃

老魔鬼覺得奇怪，難道沒有任何辦法能使這農夫變壞？就在這時第三個小魔鬼出來了。他對老魔鬼講：「我有辦法，一定能把他變壞。」

小魔鬼先去跟農夫做朋友，農夫很高興地和他作了朋友。因為魔鬼有預知的能力，他就告訴農夫，明年會有乾旱，教農夫把稻種在濕地上，農夫便照做。結果第二年別人沒有收成，只有農夫的收成滿坑滿谷，他就因此而富裕起來了。

小魔鬼又每年都對農夫說當年適合種什麼，三年下來，這農夫就變得非常富有。

他又教農夫把米拿去釀酒販賣，賺取更多的錢。慢慢地，農夫開始不工作了，靠著經濟販賣的方式，就能獲得大量金錢。

有一天，老魔鬼來了，小魔鬼就告訴老魔鬼說：「您看！我現在要展現我的成果。這農夫現在已經有豬的血液了。」只見農夫辦了個晚宴，所有富有的人都來參加；喝最好的酒，吃最精美的餐點，還有好多的僕人侍候。他們非常浪費地吃喝，衣裳零亂，醉得不省人事，開始變得像豬一樣癡肥愚蠢。

「您還會看到他身上有著狼的血液。」小魔鬼又說。
這時，一個僕人端著葡萄酒出來，不小心跌了一跤。
農夫就開始罵他：「你做事這麼不小心！」
「唉！主人，我們到現在都沒有吃飯，餓得渾身無力。」
事情沒有做完，你們怎麼可以吃飯！」

老魔鬼見了，高興地對小魔鬼說：「唉！ 你太了不起！你是怎麼辦到的？」
小魔鬼說：「我只不過是讓他擁有比他需要的更多而已，這樣就可以引發他人性中的貪婪。」

7 Jan 08

What a way to start 2009... ...

I was given 2 days MC for eye infection after my 1st day of work. After enduring with the irritation and pain, thinking that the sored eye would recover (as previously) with the use of antiseptic lotion, the pain didn't go away and in fact, it got worse!

It was so bad that it affect my vision and it actually hurts alot when I tried to work on the computer and it just keep tearing.

It was so painful and sored and affected the other eyes as well and I was left with no choice but to see a doctor. Doctor said that my infection was very bad and if it doesn't get any better w/in 2 days, I should go back to him for referral to a Eye Specialist. He also told me to go back to him for more MCs if necessary.

Today is the 2nd day of my MC. I thought it would be better after all the eye drops etc but doesn't really seems so. Hmm... ... *What is happening?* I woke up early today to prepare for work but like just like ytd, I didn't make it to work. The irritation was just soooooooo bad and it is affecting my mood!!!

Arrrrrggggggg... ...

母亲一生的八个谎话

儿时，小男孩家很穷，吃饭时，饭常常不够吃，母亲就把自己碗里的饭分给孩子吃。母亲说，孩子们，快吃吧，我不饿！――母亲撒的第一个谎

男孩长身体的时候，勤劳的母亲常用周日休息时间去县郊农村河沟里捞些鱼来给孩子们补钙。鱼很好吃，鱼汤也很鲜。孩子们吃鱼的时候，母亲就在一旁啃鱼骨头，用舌头舔鱼骨头上的肉渍。男孩心疼，就把自己碗里的鱼夹到母亲碗里，请母亲吃鱼。母亲不吃，母亲又用筷子把鱼夹回男孩的碗里。母亲说，孩子，快吃吧，我不爱吃鱼！――母亲撒的第二个谎。

上初中了，为了缴够男孩和哥姐的学费，当缝纫工的母亲就去居委会领些火柴盒拿回家来，晚上糊了挣点分分钱补点家用。有个冬天，男孩半夜醒来，看到母亲还躬着身子在油灯下糊火柴盒。男孩说，母亲，睡了吧，明早您还要上班呢。母亲笑笑，说，孩子，快睡吧，我不困！――母亲撒的第三个谎

高考那年，母亲请了假天天站在考点门口为参加高考的男孩助阵。时逢盛夏，烈日当头，固执的母亲在烈日下一站就是几个小时。考试结束的铃声响了，母亲迎上去递过一杯用罐头瓶泡好的浓茶叮嘱孩子喝了，茶亦浓，情更浓。望着母亲干裂的嘴唇和满头的汗珠，男孩将手中的罐头瓶反递过去请母亲喝。母亲说，孩子，快喝吧，我不渴！――母亲撒的第四个谎。

父亲病逝之后，母亲又当爹又当娘，靠着自己在缝纫社里那点微薄收入含辛茹苦拉扯着几个孩子，供他们念书，日子过得苦不堪言。胡同路口电线杆下修表的李叔叔知道后，大事小事就找岔过来打个帮手，搬搬煤，挑挑水，送些钱粮来帮补男孩的家里。人非草木，孰能无情。左邻右舍对此看在眼里，记在心里，都劝母亲再嫁，何必苦了自己。然而母亲多年来却守身如玉，始终不嫁，别人再劝，母亲也断然不听，母亲说，我不爱！――母亲撒的第五个谎

男孩和她的哥姐大学毕业参加工作后，下了岗的母亲就在附近农贸市场摆了个小摊维持生活。身在外地工作的孩子们知道后就常常寄钱回来补贴母亲，母亲坚决不要，并将钱退了回去。母亲说，我有钱！――母亲撒的第六个谎

男孩留校任教两年，后又考取了美国一所名牌大学的博士生，毕业后留在美国一家科研机构工作，待遇相当丰厚，条件好了，身在异国的男孩想把母亲接来享享清福却被老人回绝了。母亲说，我不习惯！――母亲撒的第七个谎

晚年，母亲患了胃癌，住进了医院，远在大西洋彼岸的男孩乘飞机赶回来时，术后的母亲已是奄奄一息了。母亲老了，望着被病魔折磨得死去活来的母亲，男孩悲痛欲绝，潸然泪下。母亲却说，孩子，别哭，我不疼。――母亲撒的第八个谎

不论你多富有,不管你多大,到什么时候也离不开咱的妈....

Since New Year Eve... ...

Left office at almost 2pm though I should have knock off @ 12.30pm but I was not the last to leave. Pat was still in office rushing her PMR. 31 Dec 08 is a deadline for many things :)

I stayed back because inputs for CNY addition data only came in @ 12+. However, it was a good thing because at least I get to upload the data into my list and feel at ease that I didn't have to come back on 2 Jan 09.

My bf came to pick me up and we went for lunch @ Vivo Food Republic. The Claypot Laska stall had changed and isn't tasty anymore. *Yucks* Must remember do not eat there again!!!

Meet up with the whole group of Bears @ Holland V after dinner for New Year Count Down. We wanted to go Sentosa initially but decided not to due to the possible traffic congestion.

The last thing I remember @ the bar was me popping 2 crackers (??) @ 0000 hrs and shouted "Happy New Year" and I K.O! That's the results for Free Flow -- I must rest for a while before I start drinking again. Try talking to me about wine and I guess I will puke into you... ... (I'll try to even if I dun have e feeling ;p)

Missed my meeting in the morning *oops* Only managed to force myself up from the bed @ 12+ (or was it 1pm?) and meet up with Lichin & my bf for Porridge. Went Vivo again and bought a pair of shoes on this new year! Had dinner with Casper, Oliver & Johnson @ some Korea restaurant in Novena Sq. I'm still kinda in a daze cos I was still kinda suffering from hang ove... ...

School reopens! Accompanied Mavis to wait fo her school bus. Went for breakfast with my mom and went to our new house to brief the contractor on the lightings. So excited... ... I am moving in real soon!!!

Brought Mavis and my mom to Jurong Point in the afternoon. That place is really sooooo cool. However, we left rather early around 7+ cos mom had to rush to the new place to open the door for Yogi *Irritated*

Went home and played Dinner Dash on my PC till 4+ in the morning :p I could have lasted longer if not because my left eye were irritated for heaven knows why.

Sent my mom to Serangoon North to run some errands in the morning then I had brunch @ Beach Road. Realised that my eye is actually sored. Gotta don on my shades and went to the Pharmacy and was advised to get some antiseptic eye drops.

Watched Bed Time Stories by Adam Sandler and went to M. Barage. Oh... how did I forget that I watch YES Man by Jim Carrey during the Christmas season too. I like these 2 guys. They are just soooooo funny. Jim Carrey has aged over these years. Hey and the show YES Man is indeed a very meanful show. I hope people would be able to understand the meaning and practice it in life :)

M. Barage is a very beautiful place. Though crowded but that place gives me a very comfortable feeling. Many people went there for picnic and some were flying their kites. The scene is just so beautiful. I wanna organise an outing to that place!!! :)

Had Fish Soup dinner with Adam and friends and joined them @ Rhythm, followed by Home Sweet Home.

It's Sunday!!! Woke up @ 11+ and had a cup noodles for brunch. Watched TV and did some work on the computer. Meet up with Casper @ Tampines. Johnson picked us up after his wedding lunch @ Regent Hotel. We went Killiney Kopitiam for coffee and egg as tea break! :) and bought Casper to The Line for dinner as her Christmas gift.

Home Sweet Home. Prepared myself for 1st day of work in 2009!!!