Plenty of surprises since my first day back to work. Keep making changes at the very last minute and changes just keep popping up every now and then...
The mood to get down to work is coming back to me. I am a OL!!! *hehe* OL sounds good huh... ... Most importantly, I've got KJ to help me. That's a good thing and he certainly help me out alot!
Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
問：美國小姐，請形容貴國男性的性器官。
Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in Americans like gentlemen.
美國小姐：美國的男性器官像紳士。
Question: How can you say so?
問：為什麼呢？
Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman......
美國小姐：因為只要一看到女士，他們就會起立 ......
(Applause!Applause!)
(鼓掌、鼓掌 )
Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
問：西班牙小姐，請形容貴國男性的性器官。
Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro(Bull)
西班牙小姐：西班牙的男性器官像鬥牛。
Question: How can you say so?
問：為什麼呢？
Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.
西班牙小姐：因為只要看到有洞就會出擊。
(Applause! Applause!)
(鼓掌、鼓掌 )
Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
問：菲律賓小姐，請形容貴國男性的性器官。
Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors.
菲律賓小姐：菲律賓的男性器官像流言。
Question: How can you say so?
問：為什麼呢？
Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth.
菲律賓小姐：因為它從一張嘴裡傳到另一張嘴裡。
(Applause!Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)
(鼓掌、鼓掌，起立喝采，鼓掌、鼓掌 )
Question: Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your Country?
問：伊朗小姐，請形容貴國男性的性器官。
Ms Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in Iranare like thieves.
伊朗小姐：伊朗的男性器官像賊。
Question: How can you say so?
問：為什麼呢？
Ms Iran: Because they like to enter through the back door.
伊朗小姐：因為他們總愛走後門。
(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
(鼓掌、鼓掌，大笑、大笑，鼓掌、鼓掌 )
Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
問：印度小姐，請形容貴國男性的性器官。
Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in Indiaare like labourers.
印度小姐：印度的男性器官像勞力。
Question: How can you say so?
問：為什麼呢？
Ms India: Because it works day and night......
印度小姐：因為日夜勞 '做 ' 。
(Applause!Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)
(鼓掌、鼓掌、鼓掌、鼓掌、鼓掌、鼓掌 )
Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
問：馬來西亞小姐，請形容貴國男性的性器官。
Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysiaare like Proton car.
馬來西亞小姐：馬來西亞的男性器官像 Proton 牌轎車 ( 馬來西 亞國產車 )。
Question: How can you say so?
問：為什麼呢？
Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft.
馬來西亞小姐：看起來很硬 (造型類似 HONDA) 其實很軟( 一撞就 變形) 。
(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
(鼓掌、鼓掌，大笑、大笑，鼓掌、鼓掌 )
Question: Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your country?
問：新加坡小姐，請形容貴國男性的性器官。
Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ In Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).
新加坡小姐：新加坡的男性器官很怕輸。
Question: How can you say so?
問：為什麼呢？
Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over.
新加坡小姐：總是衝進場，提前 15分鐘出場。
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)
(鼓掌、鼓掌、鼓掌、鼓掌、鼓掌、鼓掌 )
Question: Ms China, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
問：中國小姐，請形容貴國男性的性器官。
Ms China: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Chinaare like Deng Siu Ping.
中國小姐：中國的男性器官像鄧小平 .
Question: How can you say so?
問：為什麼呢？
Ms China: Short and hard working, but can work until 90.
中國小姐：短小精幹，但卻可以工作到九十歲。
(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
(鼓掌、鼓掌，大笑、大笑，鼓掌、鼓掌 )
問：台灣 小姐，請形容貴國男性的性器官。
台灣小姐：台灣的男性器官像陳水扁 .
問：為什麼呢？
台灣小姐：明明不行，還要硬拗、賴皮逞強。
(鼓掌、鼓 掌，鼓掌、鼓掌、大笑、大笑，鼓掌、鼓掌、大笑，鼓掌、鼓掌、大笑，鼓掌、鼓掌、 大笑，鼓掌、鼓掌、鼓掌，鼓掌、鼓掌、大笑、大笑，鼓掌、鼓掌、大笑，鼓掌、鼓掌 、大笑，鼓掌、鼓掌、大笑，鼓掌、鼓掌)
The DJ of FM 93.3 was asking people to call in and share their stories of "bad women" and to win 2 tickets for a movie titled 坏女人 or something lidat lah.
I ponder about it for alittle while. What is their definition of 坏女人? Do I have any stories to share (not that I am interested in winning that tickets but I just wanna call in and have my voice on air mah!)
Some called to share stories of their female colleagues -- as in how bad they could to sabo their fellow colleagues or how pretentious these 坏女人 could appear in front of their fellow colleagues. -- Such stories I have too!!! However, to me, these are not considered as Devil Woman!
I heard one caller sharing a story of her friend -- The 坏女人 is a Mistress of her friend's hubby and this so called 坏女人 has a husband as well. -- Such stories I have too.
I tried calling in and after a few tries, I managed to get through but I hung up because I have got no confident to tell the story clearly on air! (what's the pt of saying something when people failed to understand!) Therefore, I have decided to share it on my blogs.
As I was trying to get through the line, I was trying hard to decide which story should I share and in the end I decided to choose this... ...
This so-called 坏女人, a fat and old aunty, is a "childhood" friend (who knows how true it is) of B's dad. B got to know her during their house warming and thereafter, the 坏女人 would always come to their place for dinner more than once a week, on the context that she gives tuition lessons around the neigbourhood. 坏女人 appeared to be on good terms with B's mom and always shared stories with her.
Initially, 坏女人 would come around noon time and stayed till late night but after a few visits, 坏女人 started to sleep over. At then, 坏女人 will sleep in the living room.
坏女人 also tried to make small conversation with B and siblings and told them old old stories of herself and their dad when they were young. 坏女人 also started to use the kitchen and cook meals for the family, which B disliked very much! Shortly after, B saw 坏女人 started sleeping on the same bed with B's dad! Obviously they have an affair!!
Friends were also aware that 坏女人 & B's dad were having an affair. However, the shameless couple loudly lied to everyone that B's mom were in her last stage of cancer, with less than 3 months to survive... ...
What's yours?
I'm finally back to work today after a month of rest! No any sense of excitment at all! The only good thing -- Johnson sent me to work.
Oh another good news -- I am on leave tomorrow cos I am sitting for my exam!
Everyone in the office appears happy. Everyone commented that I slimmed down quite abit (but I couldn't feel it lei)! However, I know I have lost quite abit of weight in that 1 month but I just couldn't see which part of fats has disappeared!
My table is not considered as messy because it would be more messy when I have o/s trips to handle!!!
We are entering Dec and yet there are still a few o/s trips coming up. Good thing that KJ is assisting me with the trips so that I can focus on the claims and payment -- otherwise "Loan sharks" will be running to us liao! My poor MA also "bankrupt" liao. All his personal credit cards have been burst for our official usage. My current focus is to assist him to get back all his monies as soon as possible :p
The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought.
"How could you do this!" he exclaimed
"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, "Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it."
"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, 'Get behind me, Satan!'"
"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said 'It looks great from back here too!'"
Towards the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of you here forgiven your enemies?
80% of the congregation held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except a small elderly lady.
Minister: Mdm Tan? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?
"I don't have to," she replied with a smile.
Minister: that is very unusual. How old are you?
Mdm Tan: 98
Minister: Oh, Mdm Tan, would you pse come forward to share with us how a person can live 98 years and not have an enemy in the world?
Mdm Tan tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation and said "I outlived the bitches."
Evil Care Bear, who is already in her late 20s, turns 28 tomorrow! She starts counting down since this morning... ... :)
Now that I am almost 28, I don't feel old at all and I am actually looking forward to my b'days in the coming year! I wouldn't mind having many candles on my b'day cake because I am NOT SHAME of my age, be it late 20s or 30s! Hmm... ... I will probably start to feel paisei of my age when I turn into my 40s bah (or I probably wun) :p
What's up with birthdays? Some people will not miss celebrating their b'days while some people just hope that nobody remembers. I like b'days, not just mine but others as well. I like the idea of eating cakes (especially chocolate fav or even durian fresh cake), singing b'day songs, having everybody together, having fun and, most importantly, the big smile on the b'day boy or gal.
I like happy and joyous occasions and I make an effort to attend it (unless I dun like U!). In my opinion, these celebrations gives people reasons to get together to enjoy and have fun! However, I will also accept invites for net-working sake! *hehe*
Anyway... ... I like groups! I like friends! I dislike boredom! I dislike being alone!
Oh... and some people uses b'days as an excuse to buy pressies for themselves and I think I am one of them!!! *hehehe*
Therefore, I still wanna hunt for a black one but selling at a cheap price! *HEHEHE* Ella called me to inform that the new stocks have arrived and a black one is available. I went down to take a look and after many thoughts (not just 2nd thots)... ... *hehe* I decided to buy it! Same material but different designs @ $39! So happy!!!
Conclusion: I got 2 very pretty sweaters to wear to work, "kai kai" and party!!! *heehee* And these are my dream wear! Since young, I like such design of sweaters/jackets but the weather in Singapore doesn't allow me to wear them!!! *Hippie!*
Woah... I have been home for a month and I have been enjoying myself everyday. I don't (really) miss my job, the people, my desk, etc. *it is a signal of disliking the job or the people or the environment*
Since day 1 when I was discharged and given 3 weeks to rest at home, Mavis asked me "huh? You not going to work for so long? Then we don't have money liao lor? How?" *haha* I like the questions she has pointed out to me! I didn't say much, just told her "Ya. so we cannot anyhow spend, okay?"
After the first week, i started to go to my neighbourhood area. After noticing that I have not been going to work, I bet that the KPO uncles sitting at the void deck must be saying "She not working anymore? Everyday also no need to go work!" (Note: They must also have speculated that I have been retrenched!) *hehehe*
The hawkers whom I don't talk to but knows who I am and have been seeing me around for the entire month must be saying "she not working already ar?"
Sometime last week, my brother asked me "Sis, are you still working?"
I replied "No!"
My bro "huh? You are not working there anymore?"
I replied "No!"
My bro "then where are you going to work?"
I replied "Not working!" *with a hidden grin*
my bro "Oh... ..."
Wahahaha... ...
Unlike previous times, I didn't spend a long time @ the hospital and it appears that there were fewer patients ytd. Anyway, good for me that I didn't have to wait for long.
Took the shuttle service to Novena MRT station and while we were in the bus, an indian lady, got up from her seat and before she alighted from the bus at the doorway, commented that we, China People, are uneducated and selfish. She probably said that because she has secured a seat for herself but had to give it up and alight to wait for the next bus as her daughter couldn't secure one for herself. This raised many commotions in the bus. Many aunties were talking to one another (though they didn't know each other) saying "we are from China meh?" while some said "we looked like we are from China meh?". *LOL* One of the aunty told that indian lady "yea yea.. China people not educated, you are educated. Singapore got you this kinda people, good ar!" Feeling very satisfied, the indian lady agreed and alighted from the bus. *Joke of the day for me*
Exam starts immediately after when my hospitalisation leave end! Should be considered as a good thing because I have many days to prepare for it. I flunk one subject in my last module :( got to re-take it this semester, which means I have got 3 subjects to sit for! *Oops* I have yet to start my revision (^_^) I am collecting the exam notes from my friend this weekend and will make an effort to start revision on Monday! Meanwhile, I am not slacking too -- I am starting to compile some data for submission to my boss this 2 days :( Nevertheless, that is not the boring part because besides the daily shitting, sleeping and meal times, I spent the rest of my time on gaming and surfing the net with Mavis (besides teaching her to do some revision :p)! We are so obsessed with SIMs 2 again and have been playing for days! And guess what time I sleep??
Oh I wanna share this... ...
I've always found Evan Yo (蔡旻佑) very familiar then one day, I realised that he and Rafael looked damn alike! Their smiles are so charming! Oliver likes to sing one of Evan's song and whenever Oliver sing his song, I would tell him, he looked like a friend of mine and Oliver would say "me lo!" *haha*
See! Look alike yah? Either same age or a year difference.
Evan Yo (蔡旻佑) vs Rafael Lam
Had dinner with my friends @ Swensen a few days ago. Cas bought a b'day cake each for JS & I but Swensen gave an excuse that Angie's Choice is not a halal cake (I think it is only acceptable if they be trueful and said that they cannot allowed us to have the cake there because they sell cakes too!). However, we can only blow the candles there :p
Anyway, we dun "har-doubt" to cut the cake there as well -- not as if they have got nice ambience *Split saliva*
We make a reservation @ Xin Wang Cafe and proceeded there to cut our cake after we are done with our dinner. Personally, I feel that it's so fun and excited having to celebrate your b'day on the same day with another person who also shares the same b'date as you do! Not easy to find wor!
B'day Boy & Gal
Our friends
-----Heard about this from a friend----
Coming into the bar and ordering a double, Jason leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off!"
"Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely.
"See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her damned husband came back. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"
"Gee, that's tough," commiserated the bartender.
"Right, but that's not what really got me," Jason went on, "When her husband came into the room, he said "Hey great! You're naked already! Let me take a peak." And damned the lazy son of a bitch piss out of the window and right onto my head!"
"Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you are in a lousy mood."
"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window. And where does it land? My damned forehead!"
"Damn, that's awful!" says the bartender.
"Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet is broken so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head!"
The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Jason rattled on, "but do you know what REALLY REALLY REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saaw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground."
My neighbour, a very KPO old aunty, saw me at the carpark alighting from Johnson's car when I came home from the hospital. Seeing Johnson carrying a big bag for me and carrying hampers, she went to tell the other KPO aunties that I had just delivered and came back from the hospital (-.-")
One of e KPOs, who is also staying at my block, saw my mom at e market the next day after I came home and asked my mom "Oh Aunty, your daughter just delivered and came back from e hospital ytd ar?" (Note: My mom has never spoke a word to her before) My mom gave her one kind of look and walked off. *haha*
That silly aunty damn funny! Saw me walked very slowly and came home with many hampers so she assumed that I was back from the hospital and had delivered a child but strange... why it didn't strike her that my new born baby is not with me and how come my stomach has always been only 3 months big?! Duh!!
I've stayed home for about 2 weeks. Johnson rented a few comedy movies and the whole episode of Moonlight Resonance (溏心風暴之家好月圓) for me. He also bought a PSP (I am going to share the cost with him :p) for all of us to play. Therefore, I wasn't really bored but of course I still missed the Care Bear group and yearning to go out with them :) (but i wondered if my company is missed :p)
Since my surgery, my mom has been cooking for me everyday. It's either fish, pork or kidney soup. I'll either have mee suan or steamed rice. Oh and sometimes tonic soup for supper (as shown on e right). Breakfast is usually mee suan soup. Lunch and dinner will be either mee suan soup or steamed rice with either steamed fish (or sometimes pan fried), steamed pork ribs or stir fry pork or kidney soup and sometimes vegetables too.
While staying at home, I also gotten a pleasant surprise wor. Sometime last week, I received a call from Orchid Florist to ask if I am home because they have got a delivery to make to me. When I asked them who was it from, they told me Karen.
When it was delivered, then I found out that it was from Kareen and JS. Thank you! (Hey Kareen, you wanna see the flowers.. here it is.)
My mom's god-daughter also bought me a basket of chicken essences. :) Now my house got lotsa fish essences and chicken essences. Lelong Lelong... sell to you cheap cheap (hehe) Just joking. Really appreciate all yr concern.
Oh... before I forget, I wanna note that we celebrated Xiao Si's b'day in August and of course we took some pictures. We had dinner @ Kuishin-Bo (see appended picture) and the missing person in this photo is our dear friend Oliver.
After dinner, we went Carrefour to buy some alcoholic drinks and XXX then we head off to Kenny and Xiao si's hotel room to have a drink. We also had a chance to sink ourselves into the jacuzzi in the garden which comes together with the hotel room (just like how I played the Sims were) and sipping our bottles of drinks. I feel as if I were one of the character in Sims!
We managed to capture a picture of our sexy bear, Vincent!
Xiao si & her miniature Xiao si from her sister-in-law :)
Day 1
We happily board our plane at the Singapore Airport and reach Hongkong safely. We alighted from the plane and took a mini bus, which looks like an MRT, and transferred to the Airport arrival hall. We collected our baggage, queue up to purchase the Octupus Card and took MTR to Kowloon station. From there, we took a cab to Dorsett hotel @ 大角咀 near Mongkok (旺角).
After checking into the hotel, we went makan @ a tea house cafe (茶餐厅) in 通菜街 @ Mongkok. Their egg noodles is really deliciously cooked and is of better standard than in Singapore. After dinner, we went jalan jalan @ 女人街.
Day 2
We had Dim Sum @ a tea house in Mongkok and spent about SGD$20+ for 9 dishes. After breakfast, we took MTR to Jin Zhong (金钟) followed by bus 629 to Ocean Park (海洋公园). We spent the whole day there and covered the whole park. We played so hard that we didn't even know that we were hungry and I almost vomited.
Nevertheless, we went to Langham Place in Mongkok and watched a movie (Cyborg She). By 3pm, the typhoon signal went up to 8. We decided to return to the hotel and watched TV and fell asleep till 9pm. Before that, we had lunch at the hotel cafeteria. We decided to go out and check on the weather and gosh... the typhoon signal went up to 9 (Hurricane strikes when it reaches 10).Day 4
We woke up early in the morning and watched the TV for updates on the typhoon. HURRAY!!!! It's finally over. I was very happy. We quickly washed up and set off for shopping at Causeway Bay (銅鑼灣) -- hoping to meet the HK Stars there but failed :(
Later in the evening, we meet up with Johnson's friends from Hong Kong. They brought us dinner @ a Thai-India Restaurant in Tsim Sa Tsui. After dinner, the friends brought us to Harbour City (中港城) to buy tickets to Macau. Thereafter, Johnson bought them drinks @ Hard Rock. 
We woke up very early and set off to Macau. Upon reaching Macau, we set off to the biggest casino to win $$. We also had our lunch at the foodcourt. I had spaghetti. We also took a cab to Macau Central. I noticed that despite the traffic lights were working, there are traffic police directing the traffic *Strange*
After breakfast, we took MTR to Wang Tai Sin (黃大仙). I asked for a qian about work and went to jie qian. Very accurate wor! 
After checking in at the airport counter, we went to shop for mooncakes at Wing Wah (榮華). We bought the Snoppy Snow Skin mooncakes and traditional mooncakes as well as the 老婆饼.
