My Mother

My mom has been 'hinting' me to get a 4-room flat lately!

It is so irritating! I have already bought a 3-room flat for all of them to stay and I have to pay more money for their comfort?

She said that she will not approve my sister to buy a flat on her own because she thinks that my sis is selfish and won't take care of my brother. But why tax on me?

Doesn't she know that it would pose a difficulty if I want to buy a flat with my future husband in the near future?

Kept asking me about my views! If I tell her how I feel, she's sure to quarrel with me and thinks I'm selfish and our relationship is sure to sour!

I told her anything and she said "dun say anything. We must all disc & agree." sigh...

18 Mar 08

-----Entry drafted on 18 Mar 08 vide Sony Ericsson M600-----

Was coughing very badly & breathless last night. My voice worsen due to all e coughing. Decided that I should visit Dr Fok.

After sending Mavis to school, I came back and continued to sleep while waiting for e clinic to open.

While sleeping, I dreamt that I visited the clinic and the doctor didn't issue me with any MC. I, too, forgotten to get it from him so I panicked-cos I could be charged with AWOL! *haha*

Mummy cooked some porridge for me. She woke me up to eat them and accompanied me to see Dr Fok before she went to work.

Bad bad infection! I was given 2 days of MC! A big pack of antibotics, flu medicine, cough syrup & inflamation for my voice box!

When I reached home, I took medicine and stayed in front of the Tv till the medicine took effect then I went to bed.

After sleeping for hours, I woke up and watch TV again. *heh* lately, I've been watching these 3 drama series - 我外母不是人 / 赌场风云 / Safe Guards

If I'm home on Friday nights and had missed the evening episodes, I would watched from 11pm to 2.30am! *crazy*

Actually I wanted to update my Multiply but I have got no energy to do anything. Hence, I ended up watching TV, slp, TV, slp, TV, slp... ...

Dreams

-----Entry drafted 22 Mar 08 vide Sony Ericsson M600-----

People said "日有所思，夜有所梦"

Lately, I just dreamt that another New Year has came but Mr Ngo didn't ask us to perform. Of course he wouldn't! Our skit was so lousy!! Why would he still want to ask us! I was so sad and disappointed with myself!

After I woke up, I thought about the dream and I guess I have yet to get over the CNY Skit failure!

On many occasions, I dreamt that Johnson broke up with me and sometimes he left me for a pretty gal. All these dreams usually woke me up by my cries.

Few weeks ago, I dreamt that Johnson left me for a "Tomboy". Reason being she is a very kind-hearted and nice lady! I was very sad & even attempted suicide! *Gosh* I have always been sensible in "not worth suiciding due to failure relationships but then I did it in my dream! Anyway, my cries woke me up agn.

I was taking a nap this afternoon and I dreamt that Johnson's family asked him to stop seeing me. My cries woke me up again.

Sigh... I have no idea why I have such dreams. These dreams are thoughts torturing! Is it because I feel insecure? Johnson said that it's becos I've got no confidence in myself. I dunno... ... Perhaps I have got 0% of confidence!

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Of course I feel insecure. My boyfriend said he love me but he doesnt want to marry me when asked to. He kept saying the time is not ripe. We are too young. He got 101 reasons to deny from marrying me. Perhaps, he has never wanted to do it in the first place.

05 March 2008 / 5 Years

----- Drafted on 11 Mar 08 vide Sony Ericsson M600I -----

Somethings are just so coincident! Lately, I just found out that Adam & Karen shared the same Anniversary date as Johnson & I -- Just that ours is a year older than theirs!

Jon & I were on leave yesterday, 10 Mar 08. We celebrated our 5th year anniversary - a belated one cos we had been tied up at work.

We woke up around 10 plus, washed up and went Kallang Leisure Park. It was my 1st time there!

Johnson brought me to the Japanese Restaurant, under Suki Yuki Group, for lunch! Full-Up! We went Jalan Jalan around the shopping mall. Many shops are not opened for business yet. We also went to the Games Arcade Thereafter, we went to watch Leap Year!

After movie, we went to a big empty car park, next to the temporary site for Singapore Sports Council employees to learn driving. It was fun.

At about 6pm, we went back to Leisurepark and went for a KTV session - just the 2 of us!! Shiok shiok!

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5 years.

We have been together for 5 years. Time passes by nobody's business.

Is 5 years of a relationship consider long? In every relationship, there are many stages. No idea which stage I am in. We are definitely way over "honey-moon" period.

What keeps a relationship going? Sparks? Sometimes, I think it's the companionship that keeps a couple continue walking together.

Every relationship has its ups and downs. We have our fair share too. Good thing we have survived from them but there are more to come... ...

Thank you for taking care of me all these while, as well as for the love and concern which has been showered on me whenever possible.

No idea how many anniversaries we willl be going through but we can treasure what we have now and eventually if things doesn't work out, we still have many pages of good memories stored.

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As I was saying in my entry "Expectations vs Disappointment"

Though I keep telling myself not to expect Johnson to propose to me on V-Day and on our Anniversary date, I was still hoping that he will. so of course I feel very disappointed when he didn't. but I cannot voice it out because I promised not to talk to him about it agn. I have already disgraced much after saying so much to him and he has no action... if I were to say agn, it would appear as if I am soooo damn fucking desperate to get married! *sighz* but still I can't stop feeling sad and disheartened

I thought if he really do nothing by 31 December 2008, I should decide whether to move on.

Expectation vs Disappointment

-----Drafted on 5 Mar 08 vide Multiply-----

People said "No Expectation; No Disappointment"

I agree and disagree with this statement at the same time.

People always subconciously wish for (which is already an expectation) something which they hope for, even though they know that it is quite impossible. Thus, one will feel disappointed when things doesn't go along his way.

The only difference is how great the disappointment would be. It is just some kind of feeling which you can't really control.

An example: You are attending a function and you hope to see someone there but you know it well that the person would never appear there. Still... you wish that he would be there and after waiting for sometime, reality hit you then you feel sad - That is disappointment.

Everyone experience disappointments. Neither you nor me could escape from it.

Sighz... ...I had umpteen times of disappointment.I keep telling myself not to expect for it to happen but I still hope that I will be wrong and that it would actually happen BUT I KNOW IT WELL that I will be disappointed once again!!!

Sometimes, human beings kanna so much disappointments til they get tired of it.

Happy Valentine's Day

----- Drafted on 14 Feb 08 vide Multiply -----

It's V-Day again!! Happy Valentine's Day to all, regardless if you are Single or Attached.

While I was on my way to school yesterday, Mui Har told me that there were some advertising for Valentine which cost arnd $3K and your ad for your loves one will appear on TV for 18x. *CRAZY* Pse donate the $3K to me than to throw then into the sea!!

We were also discussing that many ladies would dress up to work on V-Day, including those who do not have a partner. *haha* Of course I did my observation and many ladies looked prettier that day and most of them knock off on time to go for their dates.

I knock off 1/2 hr late (which is quite usual) and went home. Johnson came my place for dinner. My mama cooked my favourite - Chicken Curry Rice *Yumm Yum*

After dinner, we coached Mavis in her homework and ZZZzzzzz.

Well, I would rather spend more money celebrating our Anniversary, which is round the corner, than on V-Day when everything would be sooooo expensive and not worthy of the price. :)

He is gone! *sob sob*

-----Drafted on 5 Jan 08 vide Multiply-----

It was a shocking news to me. Last evening, my sister SMSed me saying that MC King has passed away the day before. She claimed that she read it in the latest U-Weekly Magazine. Of course I didn't believe her. I did not hear any news about it.

When I told Johnson what my sister told me, he laughed it off as well. However, everything was confirmed when I asked my mom just now. She told me it was true and it was published in the papers!! *How come I didn't know!!*

At 1830 hrs, the news had some publicity about his death. That was when I really confirmed that he is dead! He dead while he was sleeping. Some heart prob. Many people die of cardiology prob. :(

As the news was reporting, my eyes turned blurry too. I was so sad about his demise. He is only 40 and he has been a very cheerful and nice guy.

I dunno when exactly did I start liking him. In my memory, I started watching him playing the role of MC King. A cute young man then. He was never popular then.

Sometime last year, Johnson told me that he was one of the DJ in FM97.2 and how funny he and his partner Yongmei were. Then I started listening to their prog from 10am to 2pm from Monday to Friday. I would feel uneasy and not fulfilling when I missed their prog. Their conversations were always so funny and accompanied me thru my working hours.

It was also then I know that he has a blog and I constantly keep myself update thru his blog. He is so optimistic and bubbly. I really enjoy reading his blog.

However, there were changes to the broadcasting in 97.2 and MC King stopped his prog. I remembered faxing in my wishes for him and what a waste that I only started listening to their prog for a few months and they had to stop. He read out my fax. I

n his latest blog entry, he said this "现今的这个社会，事事难料。今天风风光光，明天口袋光光。只要每天努力向上，对得起自己，家人和友人，明天哪怕天塌下来也能即登“极乐世界”吧？我想。" and after this, he was gone.

Forever in our memories *sob sob*

Welcome 2008

----- Drafted on 4th Jan 08 -----

Yup I know I was late in my greetings *heh* but we are still in January (the 1st month of the year) and we are still in the 1st week of the 1st month of 2008! :p

Last New Year Eve we went Vivo for the Countdown Party. This year's New Year Eve, we had nothing to do - no prog! Sounds pathetic huh.

No tixs to Vivo Countdown Party but I witnessed the countdown thru Channel 5! *heh* however, atmosphere is not there. Anyway, Rachel asked us to go KTV but we didn't go because Johnson just kept saying "anything lo" to all my ideas :( *irritating*

Anyway, we waited for mummy to knock off at 7pm then we went down to Tampines to eat Tze Char. After that, we went Sem Pub @ Sembawang-very smelly. Stayed for a little while then we left home.

When we reached home, we watched TV til 0000hrs and Kareen told us to meet her @ Thomson. We went down, Casper & Genie was there too. We had some drinks @ Macau Cafe and ended up at Casper's pl to play mahjong.

Haha... ... What a New Year!