My dear Mavis

My dear daughter was down with Chickenpox! When I came home @ 10 plus on Friday night, she highlighted to me that she has got red-spots like blister on her hands, face and legs. Initially, we were worried that it might be HFMD!

We observed that her situation was not that "emergency', hence, I took her to the doctor on Sat morning and doctor diagnosed her for Chickenpox. Thank God that it was not HFMD! However, Chickenpox still doesn't seems to be a good thing.

Mummy just started working and she can't possibly stop work for 2 weeks to stay home to take care of Mavis. *Many people are eyeing on her job* I am only left with 1 day Childcare leave and 4 days of annual leave. Not even enough for 2 weeks and I can't possibly clear all days at a time. In Nov, I still got to bring Mavis for her school Orientation. Neither I could afford to go on No-Pay leave! On Monday & Wednesday, I can't knock off early to go home as I got to go for class and will only be home @ 11 plus in the night. Sighz... ...

Now got to depend on my brother to take care of her when we were not around. Still, I dun feel assured enuff leaving her to my brother.

Now I only pray that she recover soon and well again. Seeing her in pain is as good as me suffering then I would rather I bear the pain for her.

Unhappy... ...

I'm kinda falling into depression again. *Sighz*

Few days ago, Kareen SMSed me to help her check if 16 Apr 08 is a good date for her ROM. Upon receiving the news, my thoughts ran "a few miles". Of course I am not unhappy about her getting married. Neither am I jealous about her getting married. I am falling into depression once again because Johnson refused to ROM with me yet!

He kept saying:

• We are not financially ready! [Doesn't we already have a stable job & income?]
• We are still young! [I am 27 this year and many of my friends are already getting married!! He may still be young but ... ... *sob sob*]
• He is not financially stable to show his dad that he is capable of taking care of Mavis & I [I've been taking care of Mavis all these years!]
• Our current situation is good enough, why the rush to get married!

*Sighz* We have been quarrelling over this issue for umpteen times and I am really sick of it. I even told him that I am not going to bring up this topic again SO I am really not going to bring up this topic agn!

I was chatting with Chiew Hua on MSN on Friday night and I shared with her this topic. There are only so few people I could talk about. I am embarrassed to share this with other people. Who can I share my probs with. Just Rachel & Oliver! I dare not tell others cos I think others will mock @ me! *sob sob*

Anyway, I was saying - I told Chiew Hua about my current situation and she was also supportive of us getting ROM! I am not asking Johnson to spend tons of money NOW to get married. I merely wanted an ROM. What's his prob!

We have been together for freaking 4 years plus and his family is not aware of my marital status!!! How long is he going to delay? Sighz... ... even my mom was pushing us to ROM few months ago.

The more I write, the more unstable my emotions are. *Sob sob* but who cares!

I can't share this on my Multiply! I could only write about my emotions in this little column! Sighz... ... Nobody could tell me what I could do!

I purposely told him that Kareen is going to ROM but he got no reaction.
Tonight while we were having steamboat, in his presence, Casper told me that another schoolmate of ours is getting married but he got no reaction.

Sighz... ...